Day 43:: Trusting

Soundtrack: "I Surrender All"

I want things to be logical and comfortable, not crazy beautiful like God does. So I don't like it when He asks me to do something against my human logic or comfort...to go to the Palestinian territory so to speak. Or, for me, to get out of my bubble. I like bubbles.

It was hard for me, when the book asked us to close our hand and open it, to do it. If you do this slowly and thoughtfully enough, you can actually FEEL yourself giving it up to God. What is my last handful? My pride. It all goes back to pride, everything I hold back from God goes back to my need for control over that thing. It hurts to give up the things we think we need ($, security, attention, time) and let God keep His promises to us.

But God does keep His promises and every time I have let go in my life, there has ALWAYS been a new hand full of flour. All of the sudden I realize my worries were so small and my God is so big.

I love how it said, "trusting God is a process," because it really is. If I'm not honest with You, God, I can't really trust You. God, I don't want to open my palm and all that it is holding. I will have nothing left except You, God. But I have to let go. I need release. I need to be rescued. I need so much grace and I need to give so much grace. I let go. I let go. Provide a handful of Truth for me each day as I let go. Let me rest in who YOU created me to be.