Day 40:: Wasting

Soundtrack: "It's All About You" by Passion

I can't help but think, "Maybe if you were more concerned, Solomon, with the state of your own heart and not worrying about whether or not God (who is faithful and good) was going to come through for you, you would have kept your end of the bargain later. But you didn't. God asked you simply for your trust and obedience and you spent your time making sure He wasn't going anywhere. Not exactly a picture of moving forward. It wasn't His faithfulness you should have been worried about."

Then I realize its a part of the human condition - we doubt God, we don't trust God, we question God, and beg God when He is the ONLY solid part of the equation. The only part we don't need to doubt, distrust, question, beg. He is the faithful one - His part of the bargain is guarenteed by His track record; yet, we fret. But our part of the bargain, the part about walking in obedience with God wholeheartedly, we are as flimsy as the wind.

Solomon's ultimate downfall was caused by his lack of concern for his part of the equation. His disobedience disrupted his relationship with the Lord and it disrupted the entire nation of Israel. God wasn't the one who slacked. Maybe Solomon should have been more concerned with his own integrity than God's. David did that. David was a man after God's own heart. He was about discovering God and letting God change Him. Solomon was about finding God, asking for blessings, and then not being willing to change (or even worrying about it too much).

In the places of my life, Lord, where I don't trust You as much as myself - help me cling to YOUR goodness and faithfulness over my own humanity. In the places where I have too much anxiety to trust, help me learn to walk in faith and obedience, knowing and claiming the Truth that You are GOD.